when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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