He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
