So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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