Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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