why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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