No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
