Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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