I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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