I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
