My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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