Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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