i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
