our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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