we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
tell me about the fingering
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
