people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
