I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
