ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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