I'm eating all of the evidence.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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