apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
