I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
