so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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