well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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