im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
