Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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