im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
