Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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