I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
