Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
thus making me awesome and them whores
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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