Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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