i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
