Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Help. Why am I so naked?
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