He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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