found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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