Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my shit smells like andre
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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