the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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