he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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