Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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