she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
