Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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