Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
