Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
