he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
