sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Randomize
