I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Are we still banned from the library?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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