I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
