I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
