D3 body, D1 cock
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
