Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
