Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
