After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Swine flu. Run for my life!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
