I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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