is wine microwaveable?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize