She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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